when there was nothing to do
by skanarchist129
Summary: heh.. well, its about the star wars gang. at home. when they had nothing else to do. they meet some weird friends to join their cause. lol, i havent the slightest what their cause is yet cuz im only to chapter 6 lol, i just thought id put it up for review
1. pointless idiodicy

anakin: mamas boy.  
obi wan: stuck up.  
padme: ms. perfect.  
c3po: cant find his glasses.  
qui gon: anger problems.  
shmi: worry wart.  
yoda:gangster.  
mace:lazy.  
palpatine:retarded.  
r2d2: smartest (person) on earth.  
clones: always optimistic, yet suicidal.  
luke: trying out for ballet.  
leia: lukes instructor.  
Dart: master of ice, and keeper of Tundra, and Inuyashomaru  
Abby: master of fire, and keeper of Firehead, Sky, and Chime.  
Tobi: master of earth, and keeper of Joey, and Meh  
Ruka: master of air, and keeper of Eli, and Jess

chapter 1. pointless idiodicy

"Hey obi wan, get me a soda!" Anakin yelled. "Get your own soda you lazy buffoon!" Obi Wan yelled back. "MOMMY!" Anakin cried. Shmi walked into the room. "Soda pop is not good for you, your beautiful teeth will start decaying." "But i want one!" Anakin dropped to his knees, looked up at his mothers eyes with a puppy pout. "Please?" he begged. "Did you hurt your knees? You fell pretty hard. Is everything okay? Are you hurt?" She tried to change the subject. "Please mommy! I'll love you forever!" He tried again. "You had better love me forever even if you don't get the pop!" Obi wan peeped up. "Yeah Ani, you had better love her!" Qui Gon came in. "SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET THEM TALK YOUNG PADAWAN! I MUST TEACH YOU RESPECT SOME TIME! GOD!" Qui Gon threw a pencil at his apprentice. Shmi raised her voice. "You do love me don't you Ani?" Her voice dropped really low. "Yes, i do mother." Anakin got to his feet, hugged, then kissed his mother on the cheek. "That's a good boy" She said. "AWWWW!" Obi Wan laughed. "I SAID SHUT THE HELL UP DAMMIT!" Qui Gon took off his shoe and whipped it at Obi Wan's head. "Oh my! where on earth did i put my glasses?" C3PO walked through the room. "AHAHAHA! you said glasses! HAHAHA!" Palpatine fell into the room. "OH! Are you okay Senator?" Shmi rushed over to him. "Uh! Yes! I be fine. I want to play with the choo choos!" Said the Senator. Shmi took Senator Palpatine away to the play den. "That guy's hysterical!" Anakin laughed. "DON'T MAKE FUN OF HIM! WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF YOU WERE RETARDED!" Qui Gon screamed. Luke fluttered into the room in a too-too. "I have to train THAT when im old?" Obi Wan got scared. "YOU WILL TRAIN HIM AND LIKE IT!" Qui Gon screamed. (what else can he do?) "Look at me, im a beautiful little butterfly! Watch me soar through the air so gracefully!" Luke chanted. Leia followed Luke. "You're doing great lukie, you ARE that butterfly, you ARE graceful!" leia encouraged. "Yes Luke, you look very beautiful." Anakin said sarcasticly. "DON'T MAKE FUN OF HIM! HE'S DOING WHAT HE LOVES TO DO! SO LEAVE HIM THE HELL ALONE!" Qui Gon screamed. Anakin yelled. "MOMMY!" "Don't yell at my Ani!" Shmi yelled at Qui Gon. "YOU'RE ANI? HE'S NOBODY'S ANI! HE'S A FREE MAN! YA HEAR! FREE I TELL YA! FREE!" Qui Gon yelled back. "He may be free! But he still lives with me, and until that ends, I own him!" Shmi countered. "Did our yelling hurt your ears honey? Should I take you to a doctor?" Anakin had his hands over his ears and his eyes shut. "No mother, im fine." Anakin pleaded. Two clones walk through the room, one holding a cup of grape juice. "Today will be the best day ever! But tomorrow doesn't look so good... But it's going to be fun! I hate my life. I want to die. Shoot! i spilled my drink! Now its only half full!" Said one of the clones. They dissappeared into another room. They all look at eachother strangly. "PADME!" Anakin yelled. "could you bring me a blanket sweetheart?" "Yes Anakin love. Let me clean the kitchen first, its almost spotless! OH SHIT! A big speck of dust! SHIT? Did i say shit?" DAMNIT! whoops.. Did i swear again? SHIT! IM SHITTING UP... ER... SHUTTING UP NOW! BACK TO CLEANING!" Padme cried.


	2. pointless idiodicy squared

chapter 2! pointless idiodicy squared!

"Master Windu! We have trouble outside!" Anakin yelled from outside his locked door. Mace Windu has been locked up in his room ever since he inhabited it. He only unlocks his door for food, and drink. Sad enough, he has a toilet in his closet. "Have Obi Wan take care of it! I'm tired!" Mace shouted. Anakin walked to Obi Wans room. Anakin smiled and shouted. "OBI WAN! OBI WAN! WE GOT TOUBLE OUTSIDE! COME QUICKLY!" Anakin stood aside. The door burst open, Obi Wan running out. Obi Wan opened the door leading outside. There stood... the pizza dude. "You still own a dollar fifty six." Obi Wan reached into his pocket and pulled out two dollars. "Out of two, fourty four cents is your change. Thank you, have a nice day and enjoy your pizza." the pizza dude hopped in his car, started the engine. if you could call it one, it sounded like two chickens screaming... anyway, and drove off. "ANAKIN!" Obi Wan yelled. "I'm sorry Obi wan! Really, i was just hungry and..." He broke off. "ANAKIN! YOU ORDERED A PIZZA... AND DIDNT GET MOUNTAIN DEW?" Anakin laughed slightly.. Im deeply sorry master. "Take your speeder and go to Meijers. Get two 2 liters of Mountain Dew." Obi Wan ordered. "YES SIR!" Anakin gleefully said. Anakin hopped on his speeder, and took off toward Meijers. "Quick, everybody, eat the pizza!" Obi wan said, grabbing a slice. "Mountain Dew... Mountain Dew... Where are you?" "Your looking for Mountain Dew?" Said a woman behind him. "Yes, i am." He replied. "Its right in front of you.. See the sign?" A big sign, blinking on and off stating "Mountain Dew! Look at me! Mountain Dew!" with an arrow pointing down towards the 2 liters. "Oh... thanks..." Anakin smiled slightly, yet embarrassed. Anakin grabbed two, checked out, jumped on his speeder, and took off for home. Anakin pushed open the door to see the empty pizza box on the ground, and everyone on the couch, hands on their belly, all saying. "Hey Ani. You missed some GOOD pizza!" "OBI WAN!" Anakin yelled. "Don't worry young padawan, we saved you two slices." The pieces of pizza were covered in hair, flies, and a big spider. "THAT'S IT! I CANT LIVE WITH YOU PEOPLE ANY LONGER!" Anakin screamed. His voice cracked. "Go through puberty much?" Luke said, smirking. "GO TRY ON A NEW TOO TOO PRETTY BOY!" Anakin yelled, and stormed out of the house. About 5 seconds later, Anakin comes back in. "I have no where else to go..." and sat on the couch and curled up next to his mom."Word dawg, if i be you, i would pop a cap in Obi Wan's ass yo. Ya hear? I'd Knock him up so bad. Know what im saying? Me and my homies here could help ya out holms." "No, thats fine, thanks Yoda." Anakin declined. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT WERE WATCHING?" Qui Gon yelled. "Yeah! Change it Padme!" Shmi snarled. "BUT!...BUT! It's the best part!." Padme argued. "Day's Of Our Lives Is the best show in the world! How can you say differently?" Padme screamed. 


	3. pointless idiodicy cubed

Chapter 3. pointless idiodicy cubed.

"I like to play my music." Beats bongo drums wildly "I like to play it all day." Beats drums wildly again "if you ask me what my favorite song is." beats drums wildly again again "This is what ill say." Mace Windu opened his mouth to say his final line after wailing on the bongo drums again, but Obi Wan interupted. "SHUT THE HELL UP!" "That's not my favorite song!" Mace looked down at his bongos...and started playing again. "I like to play my music." Beats bongo drums wildly "I like to play it all day." Beats drums wildly again "if you ask me what my favorite song is." beats drums wildly again again "This is what ill say." Again, he opened his mouth to say his next verse. and again, he was interupted by Obi Wan. "I'll slap you if you dont shut up!" "THAT'S NOT MY FAVORITE SONG EITHER OBI WAN! LET ME FINISH IT! YOU DON'T KNOW MY FAVORITE SONG!" Mace shouted. "I like to play my music." Beats bongo drums wildly "I like to play it all day." Beats drums wildly again "if you ask me what my favorite song is." beats drums wildly again again "This is what ill say." Yet again, Mace opened his mouth, but this time, Qui Gon interupted. "OMFG SHUT THE F UP! IF YOU DON'T! I'LL CUT YOUR BONGO DRUMS UP SO MUCH, YOU'LL START CRYING! THEN, I'LL HAVE TO CUT YOU UP TOO BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR WHINING LITTLE BABY CRYING ALL THE TIME EITHER! SO SHUT THE F UP!" Mace Windu slid his drums away and said in a hushed tone. "my favorite song is hit me baby one more time..." "Why do we have to do this!" Anakin said, laying out more fake grass. "Beacause, everything has to look nice and beautiful." Padme replied. "But you already do." Anakin said, getting closer to Padme. "NO! I don't! Have you seen all the hairs on my legs? And to top it off, i have a HUGE pimple on my head! SEE?" Padme lifted up her hair to reveal a large, overpowering pimple. "Well, there could be a few... Little changes. But still, the inside is what counts." Anakin stated. "The inside? That's even worse! I...-" Anakin held up a hand to stop her. "That's all i can take... Where's my mommy?" Anakin ran inside. "Finally... I can get this job done by myself and not have someone screw it up all the time..." "MOM! Padmes being mean!" Anakin yelled, running to her arms. "Oh, sweetheart... DID SHE HURT YOU?" "No mother, she didn't, But... But... SHE HAS HAIR ON HER LEGS!" "Oh, don't worry about that, prescious. I have hair on my legs too." Shmi lifted up her long, dirty skirt to reveal hair like that of Sasquatch. "AHHHHHH!" Anakin ran into his room. "So much hair... So much hair... EVERYWHERE!" Anakin thought as he fell into his bed. "Good thing i shave..." Anakin looked down at his legs. "So smooth..." "AHHHHHHH!" Anakin woke up sweating and screaming. "Phew.. it was only a dream." Anakin looked down at his legs to see all his hair was... GONE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' Anakin yelled, then fainted. 


	4. pointless idiodicy rectangled?

Chapter 4. Pointless idiodicy... rectangled?

"Has anybody seen R2?" Anakin asked. "Do I look like I care? He's just a stupid, dumb droid." "I beg to differ!"R2D2 "walked" into the room. "R2!" Anakin yelled, throwing his hands in the air. "I have an I.Q. of four hundred and sixty eight. And you have an I.Q. of seventy eight. What ever you say, i can say it exactally six times smarter than you." R2 beeped. "Oh yeah? Well, say "ogularblathargh" six times smarter." Obi Wan smirked."A baby could say that six times smarter." R2 responded. Obi Wans smirked left his face. He took out his light saber and wound up to slash R2, but thought better of it. "You're a wise man Obi Wan, not killing me. As you remember, countless times,I saved you." R2 exclaimed."Countless times you did nothing at all as well." Obi wan turned around. "I hate droids..." R2 turned around. "I hate humans" Anakin turned around. "I hate broccoli."

"Lukie? Are you ready for your lesson?" Leia knocked on the door. "Lukie?" She knocked harder.Leia opened Luke Skywalkers door to find him... Knitting. "DON'T COME IN HERE! GET OUT! GET OUT!" Luke yelled, hiding his knitting tools. "But Lukie honey, we have to practice today, it's thursday." Leia said, trying not to laugh. "RESCHEDUAL FOR TOMORROW! NOW GET OUT!" Luke yelled, pointed to the door. Leia left. what's his problem? it's only knitting... maybe hes starting to realize he's really a man and not what I wanted him to be... "Dad, go talk to Luke, he's in need of a father-son moment." Leia said, walking up to Anakin."I've been meaning to do that for a long time..." Anakin smirked.

"Luke? Let's talk." Anakin said through the door. "Come on in." Luke put away his knitting tools, and smiled as his father walked in. He laid sideways on the bed. "Well Luke... He paused. I think it's time for you to train to be a jedi so you can kill me someday. "WHAT?" Luke's eyes lit up and enlarged to size of plums. "Uh... I mean, be as powerful as me someday." Lukes eyes shrunk back to their normal size. "You think im man enough?" Luke beamed at his father. "HELL NO! ummm...I mean. Yes, you are ready." Luke hugged his dad. "Should i drop ballet?" Anakin got up, opened the door and left. He opened the door again. "YES!"

next day

"QUESTION EVERYBODY!" Leia yelled.Everyone ran into the room, except Palpatine, He ran into the wall. "Okay, raise your hand if you like...GRAPE JUICE OVER APPLE JUICE? Anakin, Padme, Mace, Yoda, Luke, Leia, and one of the clones raised their hands.(theres two.) "Okay, seven. Now. Who likes APPLE JUICE OVER GRAPE JUICE.?" Obi Wan, Qui Gon, Shmi, the other clone, c3po, and R2D2. Raised their hands. (R2 lit up, not lifted up an arm.) "Okay, six.But that leaves one person. Senator, which do you like more? Apple or grape juice?" "I like birdies!" He responded. "No, Apple or Grape juice!" Leia screamed. "I like airplanes!"'OMFG! ANSWER HER DAMNIT!" Qui Gon Screamed. "I LIKE CHOO CHOO TRAINS!" "BUT DO YOU LIKE APPLE OR GRAPE JUICE!" Padme yelled. "ME SAID! I'S LIKES BUBBLE BATHS!" Palpatine smiled, then fell over. OMFG! DO YOU LIKE THIS? OR THESE?" Qui Gon held up an apple in his left hand, and grapes in his right. Palpatine grabbed the grapes and ate them. "I LOVE GRAPES, ESPECIALLY THE JUICE! YUMMY!" "Oh my god...I give up on him." Padme hung her head. 


	5. pointless idiodicy triangled

Chapter 5. Pointless idiodicy triangled

Anakin walked down "Idiodicy Ave." kicking rocks and barking at oncoming people and dogs. Why, justten minutes before I started this chapter, there was an old lady who was walking 5 dogs. Anakin, being as stupid as possible, barked and roared at the woman and the dogs. The lady AND the dogs, gave him the finger. Anakin turned onto "Wishywashy Blvd." He seen a fire hydrant. walked up to it, lifted up his leg...and thought better of it. "I got to go to the bathroom!" He thought to himself. Anakin ran down "Idiodicy Ave." as fast as his legs would carry him. Anakin burst through the front door. "GET OUT OF MY FING WAY OR ILL SLICE YOU ON THE SPOT! I GOT TO SHIT AND IM NOT WAITING!" (Nobody was in the house.)Anakin ran headlong into the open bathroom door. And you know the rest. But... Heres the catcher... As Anakin got up and tried to push open the door... It wouldent open. "Oh now come on!" Anakin shouted. "Open the Effing door!" Anakin started pushing harder and harder. But the door wouldn't budge. Anakin put down the toilet seat and started to think. "Hmmmm... how am i supposed to go out. someone must have put something on the other end to keep me from getting out... And the window was busted and wont open. And if one of our neighbor's see we have these kinds of weapons, anyone at that fact, we will lose them." Anakin put his elbow on his knee and balled up hand on his chin. "Hmmmmm..." "I know!" ... "WAHHHH! LET ME OUT! I DON'T NEED TO GO ANYMORE!" Anakin cried. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang went bowling. "HEY PADME! YOU'RE UP!" Anakin yelled to her as she was getting a drink for them. Padme rushed over to them, set the drink down, picked up her ball, aimed, and threw, eyes closed. "YOU GOTA STRIKE PADME!" She opened her eyes. "But it was in the other lane..." "AHHH!" Padme groaned. She walked off the lane and sat in her seat.  
" HELP ME!" Anakin cried. He stared at the window, sighing. "I can't believe this.. im stuck... in a bathroom... How pitiful"  
"Well, lanes are shutting off, better head home" Shmi stated. "OMFG! I ONLY GOT TO BOWL ONE ROUND! IF R2 FING D2 WOULDN'T HAVE SUCH A PROBLEM WITH THE BALL! I MIGHT HAVE GOT ANOTHER TURN!" Qui Gon threw his shoes on the counter, put his boots on, and went out the door. They all got on their speeders, and headed off back home.  
They all walk in hearing "GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Screamed the trapped Anakin. "He's stuck in the bathroom?" They all said, laughing. "Guys! Help me out, i've pushed, pushed and pushed. and the door won't budge!" Padme came up to the door. "Have you tried pulling?" She said trying to hold back a laugh. "Anakin pulled on the door to reveal himself to the world he was shadowed from. "... heh, I tried that too..." Anakin muttered. 


	6. the posessed ones

Chapter 6 ( I felt like naming one finally ) The posessed ones 

"Lets go for a ride in town today!" Padme's voice rung throughout the worn house. They all walked out of their rooms, eager for a chance to get out. "Word! Im down with that... uh... sista?" Yoda said, scratching his head. They all walked outside to the garage, Obi Wan opened the door using the force, and stepping onto the bus. Qui Gon hopped into the drivers seat, started the engine, and started to pull out of the open garage door. ( Of course the guy with anger problems has to drive a bus because almost all bus drivers are pissy...) They turned onto Beforemath Street. Anakin and Obi Wan stood up and looked out the window to see four kids walking down Aftermath Street."Let me talk to them four kids Qui Gon." Obi Wan yelled from the back of the bus.

"HEY! YOU FOUR! GET IN THIS DAMN BUS RIGHT NOW!" Qui Gon yelled, after opening the door.A girl yelled. "DART! HELP US!" Dart, being the only boy out of the four of them, stepped in front of the girls, faced Qui Gon and said. "Why?" Obi Wan and Anakin got off the bus, bowed, and said. "Hello, My name is Obi Wan Kenobi, and this is my padawan, Anakin Skywalker. We sensed that you had a force within you so great, that we had to examine it. And don't mind Qui Gon, he has anger problems." Obi Wan chuckled a little. "I guess it's okay. But if your trying to kidnap, I will let Him out!" "No no, no. No kidnapping. just a few questions." Obi Wan responded. They all jumped onto the bus and headed for the back. "So, do you know how to control your inner beings?" Anakin asked. "Well, Tobi, Abby, And Ruka does, but I cannot." Dart explained. "Why not?" Obi Wan questioned. "My "beings" As you call them cannot be controled. They only way one or the other is let out is if im extreamly happy, or extreamly angry." Dart looked out the back window. "Who are your beings and what is their powers?" Anakin peeped up. "Well, my happiness is called Tundra. She is a little girl of eleven years old... And the "power" you say, is being unordinarilly happy. And Strength, anger, and hate is His power. Inuyashomaru is not someone anyone wants to mess with.In battle, he is nothing but brute strength, pure power, and in sum, a nightmare to all who get in his way. The only way to stop him, is by saying a word that he hates which I have instructed my sisters to say if he ever comes out. And the man you see before your eyes, is me, Dart. I am a depressed, yet happy boy. My power is making people laugh, be the leader, and make sure no one else gets hurt." Dart paused. "Abby's beings and powers are herself, Abby. She is a very kind, and helpful girl who likes to play games and tricks on people. Sky, is her anger, but she can control her. Firehead is a uncontrolable menace who just loves to play around and be hyper all the time. And Chime, who is pure happiness and joy. Just like Tundra. Ruka's Are Eli, who is the nicer of the three. Ruka, of course, is shy, optimistic, but sometimes depressed. And Jess, who is menacing, evil, and uncaring. And finally, Tobi. She is like me, happy, but depressed. Joey, Who is fierce, strong, yet gentle and caring. and "The Unknown Essence, who Tundra calls "Meh". Meh is nothing but happiness, joy, and filled with love for everybody around her. If anyone is feeling bad, she will do everything she can to help them." Dart explained. "Wow, I understand now. Their like. your emotions?" Obi Wan tried. "Only mine are. My sisters can control them. I cannot." "Oh.I see" "I would like to see this mysterious Inuyashomaru that is inside of you, Dart." Anakin requested. "Would you like Him to test his strength on you? Or someone whom is your enemy?" Dart asked. "Test is on one of our trainer droids." Obi Wan suggested. "Take us home Qui Gon!" Obi Wan yelled to the bus driver. "GET YOURSELF HOME!" He replied. Five minutes later, they pulled into the open garage door, emptied the bus, and strolled into the house. "Nice place you got here." Dart said, eyeing everything that crossed his brown eyes. "Follow me." Anakin instructed, heading downstairs. They appear in a dark room with only two lights hanging from the ceilings which Obi Wan illuminated by waving his hand at them. "Welcome to the Jedi training room. We practice our lightsaber skills here." Obi Wan explained. "Anakin? Bring out the battle droid." Obi Wan instructed to his apprentice. Anakin dissappeared into another room, then reapeared with a large, battle droid that the Jedi's captured during the last battle. "Okay, attack." Obi Wan said, facing Dart. Nothing happened. "I have to be angry. Im not angry." Dart implied. "Hey Dart. Remember what Sabe did to you?" Tobi peeped up. Dart clenched his fists. Light surrounded Dart and sent everyone flying back The light dissapated. Dart was no longer himself. Dart grew three feet, his fangs, and claws grew to an abnormal, and frieghtening length. His hair was white as paper, and he looked like his body frame went from a husky to a tall and skinny. Inuyashomaru opened his green eyes and looked at his target. "HIDE EYERYONE!" Abby screamed, curling into Anakins lap. "Why me?" Anakin said. Obi Wan and Anakin sat, staring at the beast before them. Inuyashomaru charged into the motionless droid. He pulled out a sword. And thats the only thing anyone else saw before he was slowing from a run to a walk behind the droid. Everyone turned their attention to the driod as it fell very slowly into twenty pieces. Ten clean cuts in a split second. "He's so fast..." Anakin said, after pissing his pants. Obi Wan agreed. Inuyashomaru turned around and looked at the five sitting on the floor. He started his faster than light run. "YOUR AN ASS!" Ruka yelled. Inuyashomaru slowed down a bit. This time, Abby and Tobi joined in. "YOUR AN ASS! ASS! ASS! ASS!" They all harmonized.. Inuyashomaru stopped dead in his tracks, then fell over, passed out. "Is he dead?" Anakin asked, this time shitting his pants. "No, saying the word "Ass" only makes him weak, but when hes Dart, it makes him angry. So we don't say it when Dart or Tundra is out." Tobi Explained. "This is a force we do not wish to have as our enemy, but our ally. Would you consider joining our cause?" Obi Wan pleaded. "What's your cause?" Abby asked, who found herself snuggling up with Anakin. Anakin looked down at Abby, said to himself "Eh, i need this kind of attention anyway, i sense Padme's life is near an end." "Our cause... umm... heh... we don't really have a cause. Were really just trying to live on Earth because Coruscant is doomed and Tattooine is overrated and We can't stand the lava planet, and the Degoba system is where Yoda will live so we dont want him to go there yet so... We dont have a cause... would you be our friends if anything else?" "Phew, that was a lot to say..." Obi Wan panted. "Of course." They all agreed. "Im sure Dart wont mind." Abby said. "I love you Anakin." Abby fell asleep. "Is this normal?" Ani said, looking at her. "Your the one that said you liked it, so, DEAL!" Obi Wan smirked. "But i need to change my pants and underwear..." Ani cried...


End file.
